Why do couples break up after long relations?

January 13, 2017, Alyssa Bruni


Like the four seasons in nature, I believe a relationship also faces these four stages: Spring, summer, autumn and winter.In spring time, when the relationship is just sprouting with the new found love and feelings, then it seems as if happiness has made your heart its permanent destination…everything seems so bright and beautiful. With the knock of summer at the door, you can feel the passion and depth of love spreading inside. During summer time, the bond grows truly unbreakable and a couple shares best memories of life together. While by the time autumn comes in the relationship, a sort of tediousness arises in the tie, and slowly the warmth of romance starts dissipating leaving behind trail of unsolved issues and misunderstandings. Winter can be regarded as the endpoint of the relationship when all the emotions and affections freeze up and all the fairytale fantasies gets crushed within your heart.Unattended expectations and disappointments hurt a lot and slowly it develops so many cracks that the relation seems beyond repair. So, is it the time to get away from each other then, instead of trying to mend the cracks? Does every relation reach winter in its course of time? How to stop that from happening? It is true that winter comes once at least, but then it depends on the couple to understand each other and not lose trust and let the frozen wintry ice melt away with the warmth of love.

Read through to know why do people break up, and may be stop yourself from doing the same common mistakes.

  1. Interrupted Fairytale: Particularly, women’s heads are filled with the concept of a prince charming who will be just like the fondest character of fairytales, such as, the prince Henry, of Cinderella. Blinded by that perception, often women hold high expectations that cannot be matched up in reality by the breathing males. At start, the illusion of fairytale does not let them realize the facts and later on when the truth penetrates, they feel that their partners have changed, not the same person they fell in love with and then happy ending eventually gets interrupted.
  2. Lack of Efforts: This point also means taking your partner for granted. Never do this to the person whom you loved so deeply once. Everyone likes to be appreciated and feel special and with time when the strong passion starts subsiding, then it is the time to bring in real romance and make your other half feel deeply cared and loved. But, mostly couples forget to take out time of busy scheduled life just to make their partner feel happy and cherished. This slowly gives rise to a hill of problems in future over which couples separate. Pamper each other a little once in a while with beautiful gifts like diamond jewelry, or promise rings or other such exquisite gifts to make your spouse or partner feel that love.
  3. Change in Persona: With passage of time, people changes and matures and along with that their outlook about relation and their partner also alters. Thus, suddenly one fine morning, you wake up to comprehend that this is not the kind of life or lover you wanted. That is the worst realization and often it is better to move on rather than traumatizing yourself and your partner.
  4. Conflict of Power: This is a very common scenario, where people try to control their partner in relationship. Everyone needs a free space and when not given that the relation starts to suffocate and gets weaker by minute. Controlling behaviors include checking on to him/her, not giving any personal time, trying to dictate his actions and behavior. This obsession must be kept within limit for a healthy relationship.
  5. Difference in Opinions: This does not appear to be a major problem initially but with time, if two people cannot find any common ground, then it becomes very difficult to keep the fervor and enthusiasm in relation intact. The same interests and thoughts suppress many fights that may arise due to difference in outlook. With flow of time, this dissimilarity may prove fatal to the relation.
  6. Extinguished Passion: As a relationship run its course, the passion and the insatiable magnetism fades little by little. Then it depends on the couple to rekindle that flame of love and passion, but mostly this is the time when individuals give up on each other feeling that the passion burnt out.
  7. Infidelity, lies and cheating: The violation of trust always results in relationship problems, and is an obvious reason why a relationship fails. If the basic trust in a love relationship is repeatedly broken, problems accumulate and the motivation to stay together decreases. Couples in loving relationships can learn to reconcile their differences – and even survive a physical or emotional affair without anger or bitterness.
  8. Better Prospect Of Life: I have heard once, “Don’t fall in love but rise in love”. I believe that to be true. One should be feeling positive and constructive by being with another person. If one descends in life after getting involved with someone else, then that relation has no future. If you sense you would be better without that person or you deserve far better in life, then simply quit trying being with him/her, because in future you both will be far more miserable.
  9.  Unsaid Statements: Proper communication between lovers is very essential as it leads two individuals to understand each other completely. Utmost trust and understanding is very much needed for creating an unbreakable bond. When many feelings and opinions remain unsaid, then ultimately misinterpretations and other negative emotions cloud the capacity to gauge the true circumstance.
  10. Insecurity, jealousy and lack of trust: Couples break up because one partner feels unworthy of being loved. This insecurity can lead to possessiveness and dependence, which isn’t healthy for either partner in the love relationship. Eventually, lack of trust and other negative feelings may deteriorate the relation. Couples break up because of insecurity and jealousy.

People desire to fall in love and search for a partner in life because they want to lean on to someone, to hold him/her at the end of the day after all the struggles over the day; they want someone to make them feel treasured and respected and truly loved without any condition. But, as all the hopes meet silent rejection, slowly the reasons of staying together ends, and with that the death of that bond occurs. Every relationship goes through some tough times, and when the two persons overcome those differences and truly commit to each other and not give up despite hard situations then only the probability of happily ever after grows. Many assumed factors influence to take a relation on the verge of breaking up. It is always believed prevention is better than cure and in this case also, rather than pondering over whether to severe the knot, it is wise to never reach that station in life.

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