8 Ways To Keep Romance Alive After 10 Years of Marriage
July 16, 2014, Senior Editior
Remember the time when you first fell in love? The steamy all nighters and going out of your way to make time for each other? The endless efforts you made to keep the romance alive.
It is said that marriage is like wine, if tended properly it gets better with age! But are all marriages perfect or do we really need to go that extra mile and keep the wine tastier and delightful? In a perfect world, you and your partner would still be glowing with undying love and have endless time for romance and lovemaking. Unfortunately, for most of us we live in a real world where we do have social obligations, errands to run, careers that can get exhaustive at times and the list never ends.
In this mad race, we forget to give our partner the three most important things: Appreciation, Affection, and Attention. Don’t let life come in between you and your loved one; here are a few ways to give a quick jump start to your marriage:
Small Gestures of Love
Express your love for your partner and let them know how much you appreciate them. This can be as simple as leaving a love note, bringing them roses, bringing them gifts or diamond jewelry, baking your spouse’s favorite dessert or leaving an impromptu “I am thinking of you” text, email or voice mail. You could also opt for the old-fashioned gestures of romance and write them a love letter as your token of love. After all, it is always the little things make the big impact.
Create Quality Time
Love is about connecting with each other from time to time, being silly together, and honest communication. We suggest you take out atleast 30 minutes a day for each other exclusively – no talking about problems, discussing bills, schedules for the next day. Tell a joke, ask how they are feeling if your spouse seems upset, give them a massage, or share breakfast in bed together. Stick to this routine for a while and see the wonders it does to your married life!
Spice things up
Break the monotony of your routine life by doing something together. We suggest you go on a vacation or indulge in activities like ice-skating, learn salsa, try, or go hiking. It could be something you want to do or your partner desires. If your partner wants to try out something new, be supportive towards them and atleast give it a shot. Sharing activities of mutual interest will not only be a change from your mundane life, but it will also help kindle romance and make your relationship work.
Plan a Date Night Regularly
Remember the time when you started going out and date nights were a regular phenomenon so why not now? Don’t get lazy and shove it to some other time. Plan a fun date night for your spouse and make an effort to look nice for each other. Make an endeavor to hire a babysitter for your children so that they are taken care of and you can be worry free. It is definitely worth the time and the money and you will be reminded why you chose him/her years ago.
Solve Arguments Patiently
The biggest hurdles to romance are arguments, stress and tension that arise between couples from time to time – from financial problems, to overly interfering in-laws. It is quite possible you do not understand your partner’s viewpoint and it may seem illogical to you. Listen anyway; validating feelings is a sign of respect. Try to discuss problems calmly without yelling, being angry, and meanness but instead find solutions that satisfy both of you.
Praise your Partner
When was the last time you asked for a favor nicely or said thank you? After being married for a very long time, it is very common to think our partners are a mere extension of ourselves and thus we start taking our spouses for granted. We forget to thank them for the little things they do for us and just continue expecting them to do it. Do not let these trivial things slide by! Say “thank you”, compliment your partner, or anything that communicates you acknowledge and appreciate their effort.
Indulge in Yourself
This may come as a shock to you but we recommend you indulge in yourself too! Make it a point to de-stress yourself and indulge in the activities that make you a happy and boost your self-esteem. Work on your patience, compassion, forgiveness, humility, cut down on your ego, and selfishness with your partner. Not only will this satisfy you but will also make you a better lover and friend to your spouse.
Power of Touch
Physical intimacy is a vital part of successful marriages. Kissing and touching your spouse is a great way to keep the heat between you burning. Increase the romance factor by surprising your spouse with an electrifying kiss once a while or make the romantic kiss a little longer than expected. It surely will make your day a little more exciting!
Romance means different things to different people. While your idea maybe candlelight dinners and soft music, your partner’s idea of a night filled with romance may be quite different. It is always advisable to understand the other person’s preferences and explore romantic ideas accordingly. If you put your spouse at the end of every list, your marriage will be at the end of the list too so don’t let things simmer on low for too long, and start investing more into your relationship. Love does take a lot of patience, commitment, and time and can still leave you ecstatic!