Top 3 Reasons Why Men Lose Interest In A Relationship

    Just a few months back a friend of mine was gushing over the proverbial spark that she had struck with “the perfect guy” she was dating.  Now here she was drowning in tears of frustration and confusion and a mound of ever-healing chocolate, not knowing what made him lose interest abruptly. He used to text and talk throughout the day but lately he seemed withdrawn and wouldn’t even reply back to her messages, let alone go out for a dinner date.  She even tried asking him about it but he would simply say ‘he needs time’. Have you been through a similar situation? So what went wrong? When faced by the same question, baffling as it is, I don’t think even the guy knows the answer; he is just turned off. There are many reasons why men might lose interest in the relationship; suddenly or over time. Here are top 3 reasons: Insecurity: Time and over it has been proven that there is a gigantic difference between how men and women think. When we women get turned off they usually know the reasons for their withdrawal. Men on the other hand cannot always decipher the cause of their sudden lack of interest nor do they dwell on finding it. They just know they need to move on. As a female I know it is difficult to digest this fact, without hunting down the explanation for it. Yes, there usually is a rationale for such out of the blue rejection; it is so subtle that it goes disguised as “lack of chase”.  The most important reason is women’s insecurities, over-thinking and feeling of wanting to be “okay”. Confused? Let me clarify; for the first few dates you are typically laid back while testing the waters, you are more comfortable, casual and fun to be around and not expecting anything, you are going with the flow. But after those few initial dates when things seem so great with this seemingly “perfect guy”, you start to expect more, thinking about the possible future with him. Rather than living in the present moment you dwell in the daydream, and when he fails deliver as anticipated you feel insecure and clingy. You want him to make everything okay. Your vibe and body language changes from being fun and easygoing, to being anxious and self-doubting, which seeps into your interactions. This is the very thing that puts him off you without him even realizing the source and eventually lose interest. It is equally puzzling to him as to how this fun-to-be-around person turned into an attention-seeking, touchy mess, he no more wants to be with and he pulls away. He found someone else: You can’t force love and as hard as it is to admit that, sometimes people just find someone else more in-tuned with them than you are. ‘But just yesterday things were perfect’, you might say. ‘And today he wants to be with someone else? Why?’ In some situation the reasons are difficult to pin point; may be things were perfect from your point of view, not from his. Or maybe that he was just bidding time with you until he found someone he is more attracted towards. It is difficult to comprehend but it happens and you can’t do anything about it. What you can do is move on and let life take its own course to lead you to “the one”. Was it only carnal pleasure? You go for a few amazing dates, he is all attentive, sweet and caring and positively a prospective partner. So to take things to the next level, you seal the deal. Come next day he simply vanishes without even a word or a trace, and you are left feeling apprehensive, confused and utterly used. What does it mean when he pulls off after sleeping with you? Unfortunately, this all-too-common situation generally has only one answer. You might not like it, but yes, the guy was only using you for physical pleasure. It happens to the best of us and only thing to do at such a juncture is to move on and make sure, not let this happen again. It’s better to hold off until you are sure the person is committed. The problem lies in not knowing if he is committed or not. Men like “the chase”, nothing can keep them more interested, but if he keeps pursuing you even after prolonged stalling off the sex, he certainly is more interested in you besides just taking you to bed. You don’t have to wait till he brings out the engagement ring, just long enough. In the immediate above two situations you have minimal or no control over the outcome. But the number one reason to scare men away from you, and on which you have total control on is your very own insecurity. We women have a need to feel ok and we expect men to make us feel ok. Instead of enjoying our present we cling on the future that might not happen. If you could enjoy spending time with him now, without the anxiety, you are more fun to be around and more of a reason for him to be with you. The best way to blossom any relationship is to lay out the best of you, not stress over uncertainty and let it bloom at its own pace.